This is a general plea for help

So I've never liked the taste of beer.
I've tried dos Equis, miller lite, bud light, and a few of BJ's craft brews. But it's always either tasted really bitter or too much like stale sprite to me. I don't have a problem with hard liquor, I love vodka and scotch and pretty much anything else.
What brews do you guys… » 12/21/13 11:50pm 12/21/13 11:50pm